Friday, November 4, 2011

Better Sleep and More Sex? Yes, Please!

Topic of the day:  Bedrooms!

Bedrooms should be for two things:  sleep and sex.  (Okay, and perhaps getting dressed.  Or, better yet, undressed.)

Ideally, this important room should feel calm and comfortable (i.e. sleep-inducing) with just enough spark to keep the romance alive.  Because you are literally spending a third of your life in this room (do the math:  there are 24 hours in a day, and 8 of them are spent sleeping), this room impacts your life greatly.  Without establishing healthy sleep, your whole life is affected!  Better sleep equals better quality of life.  

In fact, back in 2005 when I was living in Sun Valley, Idaho, I was lucky enough to hear the Dalai Lama speak live.  When an audience member asked him the keys to a happy life, he responded with,  “sleep” first, and “water” second! 

Please don’t underestimate the advice of the Dalai Lama.   You gotta love a man who keeps it simple.

So let’s start with sleep:
  • 1.     Bed position.  Your bed should be against a wall, preferably one without windows, and have a view of the door to your room.  However, the foot of the bed should not be directly lined up with the door.  That’s an oldie but a biggie feng shui no-no. 
This photo shows what NOT to do with the bed in front of the window and (you can't see it but...) the foot of the bed pointing directly towards the door.  
a feng shui DON'T

Better to move the bed to the right wall!  
Much better bed placement!  (We'll talk about the desk another blog...)

  • 2.     Type of bed.  Bedding should be clean (let’s hope) and be of soft or deep colors.  Loud designs and intense color schemes are too yang (aka “active”) for a good night’s sleep.  Headboards represent support and can help you feel more grounded.
  • 3.     Patterns and colors. Same goes for the entire room – patterns need to be on the calmer end of things.  Artwork should soothe, not over-stimulate.  Ideal colors for bedrooms are blues and greens and purples and neutrals and deep, dark colors in you're into that.  Whites work too for certain people.  This bedroom showcases lovely color choices, while the sumptuous textures keep it inviting and not too sterile.
  • \
    Design by Jane K. Hirsch

  • 4.     Soften the edges.  If the corner of your armoire is pointing to your bed, you may be under the line of fire of a “shar.”  Shar is negative energy – like an arrow – that can affect your sleep.  Drape some fabric over that corner, or better yet, move the guilty piece of furniture. 
  • 5.     TV is a big no-no.  Televisions are active and carry a lot of EMFs which can definitely affect sleep.  Think of all those channels and all those people and lights and colors and sounds and storylines and DRAMA.  Who wants all of that in the bedroom?  Even when the television is turned off, it has a powerful effect!  Get that TV out, and find yourself sleeping more soundly (and having more of a sex life to boot). 
  • 6.     Nothing under the bed please.  If you have a lot of clutter under your bed, or even a little clutter, you are taking all of that into your system when you should be recharging.  Get rid of it, or find a new home for it.  If storage really is that tight, please only put items that don’t have emotional charge or highly yang energy (like sports equipment).  Very neatly folded sweaters are okay, but it’s still ideal to leave it clear!
  • 7.     Window treatments.  You want to keep the energy contained in the room, and you want to feel at peace and safe.  Think: privacy.   Also, even a little bit of light can disturb sleep so consider this when choosing your next set of drapes.
  • 8.  No computers or work in the bedroom.  If you must bring your work home, please leave it out of the bedroom.  That includes reading documents in bed before you fall asleep, or typing away on late-night emails on your laptop.  

8.   Okay, now that the sleep part is taken care of (first priority, please!), let’s talk about sex.  

  • 1.     Pairs.  Since it takes two (traditionally anyway), you will want some things in pairs.  If you are single, and you look around your room and you see a lot of “singles,” then you are sending your subconscious a message that being single is fine with you.  Start pairing things up, and your subconscious will take the cue and do some work to attract a mate!  If you’re attached, same thing – items in pairs will strengthen the bond.  Two matching nightstands with matching lamps are not only design-friendly, but they also represent equality and harmony in the relationship -- like, you’ve met your match. 
    Pair of pillows, pair of plants, pair of lights, pair of nightstands  - yes!
    • 2.     Photographs.  Okay, so I know you love your kids and your parents.  But it’s really not sexy to have them watching you do the deed.  So minimize the quantity of photographs you have, and please don’t have them facing the bed directly.  The bedroom is for you and your sweetie, so keep the kids – and grandparents – in their proper place, like, in the living room or den or dining room or anywhere else! 
    • 3.     Artwork.  Art holds a lot of energy.  If you have a scene of a poor woman in a dark field with a dark sky with ravens flying over, do you think that this will inspire sex?  No, me either.  In fact, I don’t think that painting will inspire much of anything except depression, so you may want to just get rid of it.  (I don’t care how “artsy” it is or how much it cost-- it can go to a museum and not your house.)  Images in the bedroom should be beautiful and serene, and yes, sensuality helps too  -- a lot.
    • 4.     Type of bed.  Sorry, I know how popular king-sized beds are, but if you look at how it’s built, it’s two twins put together, therefore representing a divide in the relationship.  Trade it in for a queen or full, or call me for a cure, if you really are more attached to your bed than your mate. 
    • 5.  Colors.  I know I said stick with the soft neutrals before, BUT, it doesn't hurt to throw in a pop of red or a splash of yellow or orange here and there to represent the daring and unexpected and excited, right?  Just don't overdo it!  
    • sensual material and colors.  add a headboard and it's a feng shui DO!  from 
    • 5.     What is your idea of romance?  Candles?  Flowers?  Fluffy pillows?  What colors say romance to you?  What materials?  Even a little bit of your Personal Romance Symbolism placed in your bedroom will send a very, very positive message.  Some flowers here, a little leather there – you get the idea.

    I thought I'd throw in a cute quote:

    It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.  
    ~Chinese Proverb

    Ah, the good ol' days before electricity.  

    And in the end, if you want to throw most of this information out the window and go for something like this...
    talk about sensual!  (from'll have my feng shui blessings, because let's face it, this just feels good.  

    Good night!


    Laurie said...

    Who doesn't want more sleep and more sex? :-) As always Katie, thanks for some great info. I thought I had my bedroom pretty dialed, but you just made me rethink my color scheme. I might need to soften it up a bit. I love the photos you used. I want my bedroom to look like that! Might be time for new bedding. Yay!

    Meredith said...

    So I'm thinking that having your newborn sleep in your bedroom probably isn't good feng shui, huh?! I guess I need to work on that one! ;-)

    Meredith C said...

    I just loved rereading this now that I'm in a new house with a new life! Thanks for your awesome feng shuiness

    Katie Feng Shui said...

    You are on your way, Mere! Step by step, yah?